Lessons I Learned Raising Girls
Mother. Mom. Mommy. Stepmom. Father. Dad. Daddy. Stepdad. These words give us permission to speak into the lives of our children.
Raising girls is no easy task and differs from raising boys. I have failed, on many occasions, at being the perfect mom with all the perfect solutions; however, I have learned a few things from those imperfect moments.
I can kiss her booboo, but I can’t heal her heart.
When our children fall down and we pick them up because they scratched their knee or their pride is hurt, we have a special way of kissing that booboo to make it all better. Hearts are more complicated, and we can’t always make them feel better, but we can lead our kids to the One who can.
I can teach a lesson, but I can’t make her learn it.
God gives us all the free will to make choices, and that includes our kids. Don’t stop teaching, but understand that we can’t control their responses to choices.
She is listening even when it doesn’t seem like it.
We talk and teach. We direct and discipline. We wonder if they are learning anything at all. Well, they are. They might not want us to know it, but one day you will be surprised, like I was when I heard my daughter teach her little sister a lesson I’d taught her.
She needs an active daddy, or will look for love elsewhere.
Daddies, if you are reading this, your daughter needs you. She needs you to tell her every day that you love her. She needs you to spend quality time with her. She desires you to tell her how beautiful she is, so she doesn’t have to hear it only from some young boy. Dad, your daughter is precious and needs you to show her just how precious she is. Date her on a regular basis, open the door for her and teach her how to be treated by a man.
She needs you to listen to her.
Most girls like to talk. If you have a daughter, you probably already know this. She is a little chatterbox and needs an attentive ear. I know we’re all busy—cooking dinner, doing laundry, cleaning house, sometimes on top of working a full-time job. Nevertheless, let’s put away our phones and any other distractions when we have a chance to connect with our daughters.
Focus more on her inward than outward appearance.
Spending time with our daughters will help build good character. We can build them up when we notice and acknowledge the kindness, compassion and generosity they reveal to others. Beauty comes from within and we can help our daughters become beautiful on the inside, as well as the out.
Sometimes drama comes from hormones, sometimes it comes from the heart.
It’s a fact of life that females have hormones that can lead to drama. However, we can’t teach our girls to blame their emotions entirely on their hormones. Out of the heart the mouth speaks. We must focus on our daughters’ hearts and show them how to overcome the drama through a relationship with Christ.
Most girls dream of getting married and having children.
Prepare your daughter to respect herself and to set godly standards for her romantic relationships. Little girls often want to grow up to be princesses and sometimes have an unrealistic view of marriage. Prepare them more for the marriage and life thereafter, than the wedding day.
Teach her from an early age how to tithe and manage money.
Children can be taught money management principles from a very young age. This teaches obedience to the Lord and His standards for money as well as preparation for the future.
Sometimes you have to let her “have it her way.”
I know life isn’t Burger King and we can’t always “have it our way.” But sometimes we have to let our daughters do just that, even if we disagree with their choices, and be ready to pick up the pieces if they fall.
She will listen to a boyfriend over a parent.
Not only do we have to teach our kids right from wrong, but what God says about relationships. We need to pray that our daughters will make good dating choices because at some point we will become a secondary voice in their lives.
She sees everything you do and will appreciate you the older she becomes.
You may lose her for a season, but if you follow God’s ways, you won’t lose her for life.
If you aren’t praying every day for your children, who is?
Pray daily for your children by name. This is a big, tough world we live in. They need Mom and Dad’s daily prayers.
About Brenda McGraw
Brenda McGraw is an author and speaker who reveals how to discover joy beyond the clutter of life. She draws from her own life experiences in the #1 Amazon Best seller, “Joy Beyond, 28 Days to Finding Joy Beyond the Clutter of Life”. She is the founder of Ask God Today Ministries where she has a team of writers sharing truth and hope with others.