10 Seconds To A Healthier Marriage
Have you ever had an argument with your spouse? If you’ve been married a while then you probably have.
If you’ve never had an argument with your spouse then you either haven’t been married long enough or you never talk to each other. One is good and the other is bad. I’ll let you decide which one it is!
Have you ever noticed that arguments (discussions as my wife and I call them) can quickly escalate into something bigger than it should be? Have you ever stopped to understand the reason for this?
The usual culprit for this is that out of anger and frustration we raise our voice at one another. The best way to stop an argument from escalating is to talk gently to one another. This is hard to do in the heat of the battle!
My first response is usually to try and “win” the argument. When I try to win the argument by raising my voice I usually end up losing. It’s rough to win the argument and the house is silent the rest of the night!
The books of Proverbs offers us some great relationship advice in 15:1, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
The next time you have an argument (discussion) with someone and you find yourself wanting to raise your voice then call a 10 second time-out to think before you speak.
You also might need to count to 10 and cool off before you speak. In either case, 10 seconds is usually the difference between a constructive conversation and a destructive one.
What other advice would you give a couple to have a healthier marriage?
I'm a pastor, writer and serial encourager. I like to help people to grow in their relationship with God. I live outside of Atlanta, GA. I've written a book, Stubborn Faith: 30 Day Devotional Guide For New Growth. It's available for download on Amazon. Feel free to follow me on Twitter at @ericspeir