Parenting is not easy. We spend the baby years trying to keep them out of trouble. We spend their middle years teaching them to stay out of trouble and we spend their teenage years praying they will stay out of trouble.
In the development of children we move them from dependence to partnership to autonomy.
The goal of parenting and raising children is raising responsible self-sustaining adults. I joke with my wife all the time that I’m trying to get my children off of my payroll. If I can get them off my payroll, then that means they’re responsible adults. One of the keys to all of this is teaching your children how to make good decisions.
We teach our children to make good decisions by emphasizing two important factors:
- Obedience brings blessings.
- Disobedience bring curses.
When you make a good decision there are usually positive outcomes that come with it. When you make a bad decision there are usually consequences that come with it. I don’t want to oversimplify this, but this pretty much sums it up. The Bible reminds us of this in Deuteronomy 28.
In teaching children to make good decisions there are three we can’t afford to mess up:
- Who will they serve? Their eternity.
- Who will they marry? Their mate.
- What they will do? Their calling.
I’m convinced if we can teach and coach our children on how to get these decisions right, then most of the other decisions in their lives will work out.
Just wanted to say thanks for this great article… reblogging this!
Thanks Chris. I hope it helps parents and serves as a good reminder. I really wrote it for myself, but I figured it was worth sharing!
What a beautiful legacy you are leaving your children. There is no greater love than that, as our God demonstrated by giving us His Son. Thank you for your Proverbs 22:6 lifestyle. Great post!
Thanks Ellie! It’s a journey but definitely worth it.
Eric, does are definitely the three most important areas that parents should help their children make decisions. That is just spot on. I pondered for minute, and every conversation I have with my girls, is always around those three specific areas. Awesome. Thanks.
I think as parents it’s easy to get bogged down into thinking what is important with our children. A lot of things are urgent in our lives, but few things are as important as our children!
Being a parent is the hardest thing I’ve ever done…and he’s only a toddler! God help me
Parenting is definitely not for cowards, but it is rewarding! Just wait until he gets older!
My parents always said you have to get the big three right – maker, mate, and mission – pretty much what you said here
That’s another good way to remember it. I’ll keep that in mind.
You’ve touched on some huge issues here! Thank you.
I find so many young adults who have difficulty dealing with life on life’s terms. The root issue is that they never learned that primary issue of obedience– relating properly to authority in God’s world.
Thanks Grady. Welcome to the community! There is a lot at stake with parenting these days. I help administrate at a small Bible college and I’m shocked as to how many students come to college unprepared for life.