An Interview With Noah: “What I Would Have Done Differently”
Everyone knows that Noah built the ark. It’s one of the greatest stories in the Bible. I was thinking the other day what it would be like to interview him in today’s society. As luck would have it, he stopped by the church and I had the chance to interview him and ask him about his experience building the ark.
You can read the highlights of our conversation here.
Eric: Noah, the ark was a nice piece of work and it was certainly ahead of its time.
Noah: Thanks Eric. It took us about a year to build it. Believe it or not, the hardest part was securing the permits to build it because we were on a flood plain.
Eric: No kidding! What are the odds of that?
Noah: I know, right!
Eric: If you had to do it all over again what would you have done differently?
Noah: That’s a great question Eric. You know hindsight is always 20/20.
Noah: In terms of actually building it I would have done several things differently. Here are a few things:
- Use pressure treated lumber.
- Include ventilation fans in all the bathrooms. I think you understand this!
- Use hydraulic lifts on the front door because it was too heavy to close by myself.
- I definitely wouldn’t hire unionized carpenters again!
- Bring more putty to patch the holes.
- Build an elevator next time because running 3 flights of stairs got old quick!
- Bring a GPS because I got lost a few times and couldn’t pull over to ask someone for directions.
- Start building it a lot sooner because I was 600 years old before I started.
- Include more storage space because you can never have enough.
- Check with OSHA about the specs for flotation devices.
- Include canons to scare off the pirates. I got worried a few times!
Eric: Wow! That’s a lot to think about.
Eric: How about with all of those animals? Anything different with them?
Noah: For sure. I had a few unforeseen problems.
Noah: First, I wouldn’t put the lion’s pen next to the unicorn’s again.
Eric: That explains why the unicorns didn’t make it.
Noah: Yep. The unicorns were God’s favorite. It was tough explaining that one to him.
Eric: I bet! Anything else?
Noah: Yeah. Here are a few more:
- Leave the skunks off the animal list by “accident.”
- Take pictures of the dinosaurs before I left. No one believes me!
- Build more overhead space for the giraffes.
- Read the Endangered Species list more carefully. Some of them didn’t make the trip.
Eric: Any more advice that you would tell us about building arks?
Noah: Ok. But I really need to get going soon. I think it’s thundering outside and it makes me nervous.
Eric: It hasn’t rained all summer here. Besides, we’re in a drought.
Noah: That’s interesting. Ok. Here are three more.
- I would definitely bring more coffee next time because the Mrs. got cranky the last few weeks.
- I would also pack more Dramamine for motion sickness.
- Finally, I would avoid the punch at the after party because I got drunk and laid there naked until my boys covered me up. That was embarrassing!
Eric: Any last piece of advice you want to leave us?
Noah: Sure. Always check the weather before leaving because it rained a lot!
Eric: Thanks for stopping by today. I know you’re busy and I appreciate your time.
Noah: No problem. Maybe next time I’ll bring Moses. You think my story is crazy. He brought plagues with a stick!
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I'm a pastor, writer and serial encourager. I like to help people to grow in their relationship with God. I live outside of Atlanta, GA. I've written a book, Stubborn Faith: 30 Day Devotional Guide For New Growth. It's available for download on Amazon. Feel free to follow me on Twitter at @ericspeir