We have seen a lot of changes in the past few years. Much of it has been for good but much of it has not. Our world is changing faster than we can keep up with it. Whether we like it or not our lives and society is changing faster and faster as the days go by on our calendar. We have two choices to make when dealing with change: enjoy the ride or go kicking and screaming.

I began to think about this idea recently because I went through a major change in my life. My wife and I already had two children who were ages 9 and 6 and we just added our third child. (yes, I do know what caused it!) At the time of this writing he is two months old. If you do the math that is a decent age gap between our children. Continue Reading…

I’ve been a parent now for several years and I’ve learned a few lessons. In fact, I’m going to share three things that I haven’t always done well. I hate to admit it but I’ve probably screwed up more times than not. I guess you can’t have it all: good looks, charm, great sense of humor and good parenting skills. Oh well, 3 out of 4 isn’t bad! Just kidding, that’s my sense of humor coming out!

There are many great parenting skills that everyone needs but lately these are the ones that I’ve been working on the most. It’s certainly not an exhaustive list but this is my blog post!

1. Be quick to apologize to your children when you blow it. As parents there are going to be times that we over react or say something that we shouldn’t. It might be that we drop the ball on something that we had promised or that we had good intentions but didn’t follow through like we should have. It’s important that you apologize to your children when you screw up. It shows them that you’re human and it models humility to them.

2. Learn to take a “chill pill.” The are some things that we get upset at now that really won’t matter in 10 years. I wonder how much energy we waste on getting upset over things that shouldn’t merit our time or emotions? The Holy Spirit told me recently to quit being so uptight about my girls cleaning up the way that I wanted them to. He quickly reminded me that it won’t matter in ten years anyway. This thought leads us to the last one.

3. Teach your children responsibility, but not perfection. I have caught myself falling into the trap of perfectionism. Recently, I got upset at my children because of the way their room was cleaned. I wanted it to be spotless or better yet perfect! Their room was cleaned like a 9 year old and 6 year old would clean it. The Lord reminded me that I wasn’t perfect either!

In any case, when I teach my children perfectionism I am setting them up for failure in their future because at some point they are going to miss the mark and crash and burn. It’s easier to teach them to be responsible adults than it is to be perfect. Jesus was perfect so I don’t have to be!

Again, these are just three that I’m working on at the moment. The good news is that by doing these I have taken some unwanted pressure off of myself and my children. Try doing these and you might be surprised as to what happens!

Do you struggle with any of these? If so, which one?

It’s been said that actions speak louder than words. This is true in leading by example but also in disciplining children.

I set boundaries for my children because I love them and want them to do well in life. When they pass the boundaries that we have set for them then we are forced to discipline them. Even though I hate disciplining them I know that it is necessary because of the positive results it will produce in their lives.

The Bible speaks quite a bit about disciplining our children. It says in Proverbs 29:30, “A servant cannot be corrected by mere words; though he understands, he will not respond.”

Simply Put: Discipline Must Be Demonstrated

I know a lot of people wouldn’t agree with this but it might mean you have to spank your children sometimes. (Whoever would have thought I would have to write this!) It could also mean a type of restriction from things such as TV, radio, electronic devices, cell phones or anything that might be important for them.

Just like love must be demonstrated in our lives so should discipline be demonstrated as well. Because I love my children I discipline them. We demonstrate our discipline because we know the long term results will outweigh the short term pain or discomfort that it causes us.

In what ways can we creatively discipline our children?

The book of Proverbs is full of great advice for families. In a previous post we talked about communicating effectively for a healthy marriage. In this post we are talking about having proper boundaries for children. Without boundaries in our lives we can end up in danger.

Do you remember a time when you thought your parents were being too strict? This might have frustrated you because you didn’t understand why something was a big deal. You reasoned in your mind that if your neighbors could do it then it must be good for you.

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Have you ever had an argument with your spouse? If you’ve been married a while then you probably have.

Marriage Is Not About Winning!

If you’ve never had an argument with your spouse then you either haven’t been married long enough or you never talk to each other. One is good and the other is bad. I’ll let you decide which one it is!

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I love the game of Monopoly! The first time I played with my 6 year old daughter I made her cry. I didn’t mean to but I took all of her money. I felt bad for a moment and then I started counting my money again. For some reason, my wife wasn’t very happy with me. I quickly realized we weren’t on the same page!

Are you playing for your children to win?

I guess she expected more from a Christian father. Maybe I should have tithed first! It probably didn’t help that I was wearing a cheap green visor that professional poker players wear. (Just kidding. I couldn’t find one!) I tried to explain to her that it wasn’t personal, just business. For some reason she wasn’t buying it.  Continue Reading…

Before going on vacation my wife bought me a new pair of sandals. I was excited to get a new pair because my old ones were worn out. Before I new it, one of my kids had my new pair of sandals on and was walking around the house! I was shocked because I had not had the opportunity to wear them yet and here they were walking around in them.

This incident reminded me of something that happened a couple of years ago. A couple of years ago I took the picture below with the camera on my phone.

Who's following you?

In the picture, my youngest daughter had left her shoes inside of mine. She must have thought that if daddy can leave his shoes in the kitchen then it must be ok for her!

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I had the pleasure of guest posting over at FeelGooder today covering a topic that is near and dear to my heart: Healthy Families!

Be my guest!

It was an 800+ word post which highlights some practical tips to get to know your family better. In today’s busy culture we need to be good stewards of our time and use it to nurture healthy families.

Show me some love and head over there to review the post and let me know your thoughts! If you have any questions or thoughts just ask them via the comments and I will answer them all!

It was an honor and a privilege to right for FeelGooder and I plan on partnering with them again in the future.