Eric Speir

Thrive In Your Faith and Family

Speaking Identity Over Your Children

Parents need to speak words of life over their children. Fathers especially have the power to speak identity over their children.

As parents we need to believe in our children when no one else will. We need to speak life over our children even when we don’t see the change yet.

I learned this lesson firsthand several years ago. I have a nightly ritual of putting my children to bed. It’s something I’ve done since my children were little. In this ritual I go into their bedrooms, pray over them and kiss them before they go to sleep.

One night while praying for my oldest daughter I said, “Lord, help her to be a Proverbs 31 woman.” After prayer she asked, “Daddy, what’s a Proverbs 31 woman?” I responded, “It’s a woman described in chapter 31 of Proverbs. You’ll have to look it up.”

I left it at that because I wanted to see if she would look it up.

The next night while putting her to bed she told me she looked it up and said that’s the kind of woman she wants to be.

Now we’ve made this a part of our bedtime ritual. Even though she’s still a young girl I have planted the seed of righteousness in her life to be a woman of God.

Even Jesus needed to be affirmed by his daddy. We get a glimpse of this in Matthew 3:13-17 when the Lord said, “This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased.”

This came right after the baptism of Jesus. He had just been baptized and was about to launch into his personal mission. If there ever was a time when Jesus needed to hear the affirmation of his Father, it was then.

This affirmation of Jesus wasn’t a one time shot. Even Jesus needed to hear it more than once from his Father.

While he was still speaking, a bright cloud covered them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!” Matthew 17:5

This was another transitional turning point in the life of Jesus. He was about to die for the sins of the world.

Children need more attention and affirmation during life transitions and difficult seasons.

Children need to hear it more than once. In fact, they need to hear it often. I suspect Jesus spent so much time praying to his Father because he needed to be encouraged and reminded of whose he was.

This made me question do I do a good enough job of affirming my children? Do I only affirm them when they’ve done something right or do I affirm them simply because they’re mine?

Jesus never had to earn his father’s affirmation. He was affirmed by his father simply because he belonged to him.

Question: Do you affirm your children enough?

About Eric

I'm a pastor, writer and serial encourager. I like to help people to grow in their relationship with God. I live outside of Atlanta, GA. I've written a book, Stubborn Faith: 30 Day Devotional Guide For New Growth. It's available for download on Amazon. Feel free to follow me on Twitter at @ericspeir

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2 Replies

  1. Eric,
    Thanks for writing about this very important topic – speaking God’s truth to our child’s heart. Our children are bombarded with so many messages that speak against God’s promises for them that they need us, their parents, to speak life and truth into their lives. Keep up the great work. Blessings

    1. Eric

      Thanks Edith! It’s amazing how many images and and messages our children are bombarded with. We must counter this with truth.

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